SCENE:  Mitch BERG is looking for arrowroot flour at a local co-op.  Moonbeam BIRKENSTOCK, a twenty-something graduate of Saint Olaf, and of Camp Wellstone. Moonbeam works as a telemarketer for “Minnesotans United for All Progressive Causes”, steps around the endcamp.

BIRKENSTOCK: Merg.

BERG:  Hey, Moonbeam. 

BIRKENSTOCK:  So Drumpf really stepped in it this time.

BERG: (With mock concern, tempered with a bit of fatigue). What?  Again?

BIRKENSTOCK: (Oblivious).  Yep.  Taylor Swift endorsed Kamala!

BERG:  You don’t say.  I mean, that was pretty much a foregone conclusion long ago. 

BIRKENSTOCK:  Yeah, but here’s the best part:  He insulted her!

BERG: Oooh. Bad. Really really bad.

BIRKENSTOCK:  This probably ends the race.

BERG: Well, it ends something, anyway:

Only 6% said it made them more likely to vote Harris, while 13% said it made them less likely to—though ABC News noted that those who responded negatively to the question were “overwhelmingly Trump supporters” (Forbes has reached out to ABC News and Ipsos for more data).

But the poll found Swift’s endorsement didn’t even help Harris much in the expected key demographic: Just 8% of women under 30 said they were more likely to support Harris, 13% said they were less likely and 78% said it made no difference.

 

BIRKENSTOCK. So why insult her and risk all those votes?

BERG:  Not sure it affected any votes that weren’t going to go to Harris anyway. 

BIRKENSTOCK:  Hah!  Young women are fierce and independent and…and…I just can’t…

BERG:  Shake it off.

 And SCENE