When I was a kid, having a tattoo meant that you were either a veteran or had been in prison; it was fairly easy to tell which by the content and quality of the “art”-work.
That’s probably one reason I’ve never succumbed to the trend.
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In a just world, this would be prosecutable as a war crime – in the war between taste and tastelessness, beauty and ugliness. That war is, thus far, undeclared; it’s an insurgency. The Charlies are, unfortunately, winning.
But many have; some stats say over a third of all adults below the age of 40 have some kind of tattoo or another. Some have gone completely overboard; men and women with “sleeves” (tattoos running up their arms), college age women with huge obnoxious tattoos covering vast swathes of skin.
Look – a clever, tasteful tattoo here and there can be fun. Don’t get me wrong. It’s not my style, but knock yourself out.
But there are few things in the world quite as depressing as sitting at the pool and seeing a gorgeous woman in a bikini, looking hand-tooled saddle from neck to waist, shoulder to wrist, hip to knee.
An aesthetic atrocity? I don’t think I’m overreacting, here.
But let’s forget about aesthetics for a while. Let’s focus on science.
One thing that’s always skeeved me out about tattoos is that you are puncturing one of your body’s most fragile yet essential organs – one that is designed to protect the rest of your body – thousands of times, and impregnating it with chemicals containing God only knows what.
No, seriously. We just don’t know what’s in those tattoo inks.
Hey, baby. I’m covered in toxic chemicals, applied by someone whose big goal in life was to be a staff artist at “Heavy Metal” magazine.
FDA has not approved any tattoo pigments for injection into the skin. Tattoo parlors are regulated by the state and city, but the U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) does not require manufacturers to release their ink’s ingredients; doing so could supposedly give away trade secrets.
One yuge takeaway?
An alarming research study recently published by Dr. Bob Haley and Dr. Paul Fischer at the University of Texas Southwestern Medical School in Dallas uncovered that the “innocent” commercial tattoo may be the number one distributor of hepatitis C.
And it gets worse.
If you have some bobbleheaded Millennial or X-er in your life who’s contemplating getting this systematic scarring and contamination, send ’em the link.
Those are not the correct photos to make your point. Hot women with tattoos are still hot women. Those are the women we wish would show up for topless protest marches, but never do. Looking at them is not repulsive enough to condition society to equate “tattoo” with “ugly.”
The anti-tattoo campaign should feature the women who do show up for those marches: late middle-aged obese women whose tramp stamps are distorted from stretching and sagging. Try to get that image out of your mind. See? Can’t do it. Now THAT’s how you build an aversion campaign.
As you age and your body undergoes change, especially your skin, I have a feeling any of these bobbleheads gave a second thought what these tattoos will look like… dang, JD beat me to it!
FDA has not approved any tattoo pigments for injection into the skin.
What???? OmG OmG…I’m doomed as doomed can be! How could this happen? Everywhere I go, everything I do is supported by the reassurance that someone, somewhere in teh guvermint has already checked everything out!!!!
My mind is completely blown. I’m dazed and confused.
What do I do now? Surely there is a department of “Thats what you get” to helo get me out of this mess, after a stern scolding?
On one hand, I get why a lot of people are getting inked. They’ve got temporary jobs, temporary homes, temporary relationships….a tattoo is permanent. It answers a very real need. That said, I’m quite frankly puzzled why people would want the creepy tattoo guy or gal to be handling X part of their body for hours while possibly using contaminated needles with poisonous inks.
Aside from the “look at me” tattoos, I have to wonder what their parents did to piss them off.
Mr. Berg’s touched a nerve with this posting–or was that the tattoo needle?
I’m from a time when marines and sailors had anchors on their forearms and only women and pirates wore earrings. Since there weren’t any pirates, only women wore earrings. Now pirates have made a comeback, men wear earrings and both men and women wear nose rings, lip rings, why I’ve even seen forehead rings.
As for tattoos: Some years ago I wrote updated lyrics for the song sung by Groucho Marx in “At the Circus.” Mitch, I thought your readers would enjoy this:
“Lydia the Tattooed Lady” (New Version)
Intro:
In olden days, you had to pay, and it really was a weak-show.
You’d strain and strain just to see, the tattooed lady,
and the other folks in the freak-show.
But these are better days I must be candid,
’cause all our lovely maids today are sim’larly branded.
And these ladies of today they rule the roost-too,
but I’m afraid they don’t make ’em like they used-to. Oh…oh…
Lydia oh Lydia say have you met Lydia, Lydia the Tattooed Lady
She had eyes that men adored-so
and a torso, even more-so
Lydia oh Lydia that encyclopedia, Lydia the Queen of Tattoo
On her shoulder was the battle of Waterloo
beside it the crash of the Hindenburg too
and proudly above waved the red, white and blue
you could learn a lot from Lydia
When her robe was unfurled you could see half the world
if you stepped-up to tell ‘er where
For a dime you could see Kankakee or Pairee
or Washington crossing the Delaware
Lydia oh Lydia the girl they called Lydia, Lydia the Tattooed Lady
When her muscles were relaxin’
up the hill rode Andrew Jackson
Lydia oh Lydia that encyclopedia, Lydia the Queen of them all
For a quarter she’d do a mazurka in jazz
with a view of Niagara that had real pizzazz
and on a clear day you could see Alcatraz
Oh the view was grand on Lydia
I said Lydia,
(chorus) he said lydia
Come along and see Buff’lo Bill with his lasso
over there’s a portrait by Pablo Picasso
Marco Polo exploring the Orient
Captain Kirk going where no man ever went
’round the bend I see Atlanta burning
over there it’s MacArthur returning
here’s the island that Gilligan was stranded-on
and the moon that Neal Armstrong landed-on
Lydia oh Lydia the girl they called Lydia, Lydia the tattooed lady
she could make her stomach flatten
‘cross the plain rolled George S. Patton
Lydia oh Lydia that encyclopedia, Lydia the Queen of Tattoo
she once swept an Admiral clear off his feet
the ships on her hips made his heart skip a beat
and then the old boy took command of the fleet
’cause he went and married Lydia
I said Lydia,
(chorus) he said Lydia
I said Lydia the Tattooed Lady
Ole’
Tony – LOL! That song occurred to me as I was writing this.
Joe Doakes:
“The anti-tattoo campaign should feature the women who do show up for those marches: ”
I wanted to illustrate not the horror of tattoos’ worst effects, but the tragedy and spoiled potential they cause.
Surely an oversight on Obama’s part in the last minute regulation deluge he unleashed.
That statement proves to me that you’ve never had teenagers.
And while a tatoo isn’t as permanent as it once was, it’s expensive and painful to remove.
I hate to back Emery up on anything, but he does have a point with parents. Here’s a representative one:
https://dougwils.com/s7-engaging-the-culture/say-it-with-ink.html
If you can’t bring it up, it’s a naked girl on the guy’s back, and it says on “her” “ask me about my parents’ divorce.” So like I noted in my first comment, you got temporary relationships, you got tattoos.
Groucho reminds me of a Tom Lehrer who could dance.
To paraphrase George Carlin, why give law enforcement another way to identify you?
When I was in Okinawa during my SE Asia tour, two of my buddies and I, while under the influence of drinking too many Olympia beers, debated getting tats. Fortunately, two of us decided to pass, but third guy, went for it by having Old Glory injected into his right bicep. He regretted it the next day, but at least it wasn’t anything controversial.
Sadly, despite my admonitions, cajoling and pleas, I couldn’t convince my daughter not to ruin her body with them. She now has four of them.
BB, I agree that divorcing parents can screw up their kids … BUT it’s not like teenagers/young 20-somethings need much inducement to commit stupidity other than existing. So at least BH and I agree on that point (yeah, my daughter, too, which is why I know that it’s painful and expensive to get them removed … *sigh*).
And I say that as someone who also practiced stupidity at that age. But at least it was stupidity of other sorts that, all things considered, I’d probably do again in similar circumstances. Yeah, it was stupid, but fun!
My two teenagers never had a problem with impulsive behavior or self discipline.
Tattoos, like herpes, are forever.