Dave's Not Here, Man

The doctor calls it "Viral Bronchitis", and says I've gotta ride it out.

So while my kids both have minor colds with coughing and sore throats, I'm horribly short of breath and I have a hacking cough that occasionally gets so violent that I've pulled every muscle in my torso.

Upside: Occasionally I cough so hard that I enter a state of oxygen-deprived euphoria. It's the only "high" I've ever really gotten; I never did weed or coke, in fact. But coughing?

I'm sure there's a health problem associated with that sort of coughing. Be gentle before you bogart my buzz...