John Kerry

John Kerry - Have Your People Call My People - I love great oratory - so even if you leave out his chameleonlike, pusillanimous record of defense and foreign policy and his worse-than-Kennedy domestic record and consider the record on oratorical skill alone, he's the last person I'd vote for for President. Kerry is stultifyingly bad orator. George Bush - himself far from Reaganesque - makes him look Demosthenean.

So it's in the interest of cooperation that I offer this advice to the Kerry Kampaign; if you're going to try to turn the President's actions into cleveroid plays on words, you're going to need to do a lot better.

For example, you started with:

Instead of saying "start your engines", he should be starting the engine of the economy!

Left over from your prep school student body president compaign, no?

We can do better. To wit:

Instead of landing on an aircraft carrier, he should be landing on single-payer health care!

Instead of liberating Iraq, he should be liberating people from prescription drug payments!

Instead of watching stock cars, he should be regulating the stock exchange!

Instead of worrying about nukes in Iran, he be giving rebukes to Enron! [that's got kinda a Sharpton-y tang to it - Ed.]

Audience? The Senator needs your help, too. I know you won't disappoint.

Posted by Mitch at February 19, 2004 05:03 AM